"My birthday is coming is today!" said Charles. His birthday was today, and his best friend Joshua had planned a surprise for him.
"I know," answered Joshua with a smile on his face. When he got home he immediately asked his parents, "Is everything set for the party is tonight?"
"What party," asked his mother.
"The party for my friend, remember," said Joshua worriedly.
"I thought you said it was tomorrow. That was the date I even put on the invitations."
"Oh no!" Now he was beginning to panic. "I know what I will do, I will call everyone and tell them.
"And I will go out and get a cake," suggested his mother.
They began to go to work. His mom goes out to get the cake. Joshua starts calling all his friends about the party.
"What can I do to help," asked his dad.
"You can help with the decorations," said Joshua.
His sister also helped out by calling people as well. Their mother came back with a vanilla ice cream cake that said "Happy Birthday Josh" in icing on the cake.
Josh's friends started piling into the house, and he finished the calls. They all heard the doorbell ring.
"It's Charles, everyone hide," he whispered. "Come in, the door is unlocked." He came in.
"Hello, where is everybody?"
"Surprise," they all yelled.
"Is this all for me," Charles asked.
"It is a present from your best friend."
They all had some cake and had a great time at the party. Charles was so happy he had such a great and thoughtful best friend.
Great job. One thing that you could have done better is your chossing of words and how much diolog you put in. Also joshes mom put happy birthday josh. It is confusing because I thought it was charles birthday not josh. Overall, you did a great job.
ReplyDeleteGreat Job! I like how your story went and the structure was great. I also like how the story went and it was all good. You could have though used a little less diologue and a little more narration. You might have accedently said they put joshes name on the cake but this was still a great post.
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